You know those times when you’re stuck reading a huge stack of comments below a (fascinating and enticing) Facebook post? Yes, of course you do. I, for instance, do it all the time.
Well, a few days ago, I was right in the middle of the reading of an engaging andabsorbing post about the best lunches to bring to work and then a wary pop-up appeared. “Please log in to continue”. I hesitated for a moment while looking at the computer screen perplexed. I typed my login details again and, all of a sudden, Facebook went like “Are you sure, uh? Are you sure this is your real name? I mean, are you super super super sure?” I was like “Oh my, come on, I’ve been here for the last decade along with my real name, what do you want from me now? Let me go back to that post, I need to know what the best thing to bring for lunch tomorrow is, please!”
But instead of letting me go they asked for a copy of my ID. As soon as I sombrely uploaded it, an automated message appeared: “Thanks, we’ll let you know, now go, get lost” along with a GIANT log out button.
I kept on staring at the screen for a few minutes, then I went through all the stages of loss, from shaking my fist at the screen to crying (well, not literally) to accepting it: Facebook locked me out for using my real name.
So I decided to move on and do something else. Here are 5 things to do when Facebook locks you out.
- Give Spotify’s Discover Weekly playlist a go. (By the way, have you noticed the Spotify icon is greener than usual? It’s like a Hulk kind of green now.)
- Fall in love with Twitter again
- Cook, bake, read your weekly copy of TimeOut, go for a walk, explore your neighbourhood, catch up with friends IN REAL LIFE or do whatever you like more.
- Make a photo wall with all your Facebook photos and cover them with like stickers.
- OK, that’s it. Turn off your computer and do something constructive.
It was 1994 circa and I had just finished Monkey Island 2. I’ve been fascinated by this list of constructive things to do since ever. You should watch it too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1XstQdo6d0
(Don’t know what is Monkey Island 2? Even better, retro gaming is so cool. )
(originally posted on The Social Shop blog)